Open the Door
by khughes830
Summary: Amanda Rollins is done with their crap. #Barson
1. Chapter 1

So after Newsroom, everyone needs a friend who won't take any more BS. I have decided Amanda is that for Olivia. Enjoy.

* * *

Even though they had closed the Coyle case and actually been able to make some headway on the mountain of paperwork they were always facing, Olivia still seemed on edge. A little off kilter. She had pretty much been that way since they got word of Barba's suspension. He was back now, but it just felt off. The whole case did. Not sure if it was because Dobbs inserted himself in places that would have normally been Liv and Barba or what. She could feel Carisi's eyes boring into her forehead as she tried to finish this last bit of paperwork.

"Stop it" she growled out.

"Amanda. Come on! You have got to do something."

"Why me?" she said, looking up at him. He just gave her that look… she threw her pen at him. "Fine. But you are finishing my paperwork."

Amanda took a deep breath as she pushed out of her chair. She really tried to keep professional in one lane and friendship in the other. Her and Liv both worked really hard to keep those boundaries so no one could ever accuse Olivia of playing favorites with one of her closest friends. But she knew Carisi was right. Something was building inside Olivia. She looked at her boss and friend staring off into space, holding a pen in her hand.

"Ok. That's it." She watched Liv actually get startled and throw her pen on her desk.

"Rollins. I was…"

"Doing nothing. You haven't been for the last 35 minutes. Carisi has been keeping track. I'm done for the day and now so are you. Go get Noah and I'll get sandwiches and we will meet in the park in an hour."

"Rollins, I…"

"This isn't Rollins asking. This is Amanda telling. So, shake a tail feather Liv. Or I'll eat the brownies without you."

"Hey I don't have any dinner plans" they heard Carisi yell from his desk.

"You aren't invited" Amanda yelled back. Olivia raised her hands in defeat and grabbed her jacket. "I'll see you in an hour".

* * *

Olivia looked up at the setting sun and back at Jesse and Noah playing in the sand and let go of the breath she had been holding for what felt like a long time.

"Thanks for forcing this, Amanda."

"Its what friends do, Liv. You needed a break. Honestly, I think you need more than that" she said, smiling over at her friend.

"What does that mean?"

Amanda regarded the question. How much honesty could Olivia take right now? But if someone didn't smack her over the head with a brick, how much longer could the rest of them deal with her?

"Liv, you are a walking, talking ball of stress. You need a hobby."

"Hobbies are boring."

"Then try yoga."

"Even more boring than a hobby."

"Then you need to get laid!" Amanda yelled at her. Olivia's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. Amanda saw her opening and she took it.

"And so does Barba." And honest to God, she has known Olivia Benson for a long time and this is the first time in the entirely of their relationship, professional and otherwise, that Amanda Rollins has ever seen Olivia Benson blush.

"Look. Liv. I love you. I really do. And as someone who cares about you and your sanity and also needs to be able to continue working with you, we need to have a real conversation."

"I'm going to need something a lot stronger than this bottle of tea then."

"Perfect. There is wine and Disney Junior at my apartment. Let's go."

* * *

The kids were settled and starting to fall asleep to whatever Disney was showing and Olivia was on her second glass of wine. Amanda wasn't going to let up that easily.

"Slow down girl."

"I will give you $1000 to talk about anything else than what you want to talk about."

"No."

"Let's talk about Sonny."

"No."

"Jesse?"

"No."

"Whatever Real Housewives show you are in to?"

"Liv…"

"Amanda."

"Ok. Stop talking. Let me talk. You just listen. And you need to listen. Like really listen. Please. I have just been sitting back for the last 5 years and…

 _October 2012_

 _She was slightly impressed in the way that ADA had taken the defense attorney to task. May not to waste a bunch of time. She figured based on his suit and swagger he would be kind of an ass and.._

 _"Take your daughters to work day?" She was right. Ass. But she couldn't help notice the look that passed between Olivia and Barba as they shook hands. Like a shock of electricity had just passed between them and it had changed them._

"That's not entirely true. I thought he was an ass too."

"A hot piece of Cuban ass."

"AMANDA!" She buried her face in her hands. "I need more wine" she mumbled.

"In a minute".

Olivia looked at Amanda, sheer terror on her face. "Why are you doing this now?"

"Liv, this needs to be done. Maybe if I had done it a year ago we could have avoided the Tucker fiasco."

"I know Ed wasn't ever your favorite person, but he really wasn't…"

"Stop trying to change the subject. We aren't talking about Ed now. Now it's Rafael" she said with a flair of her hands and a roll of her voice.

"I hate it when you say his name like that."

"No. You love it. I know you do because while you can hide the smile on your face, your eyes always give you away. Always have."

 _October 2012_

 _The tension between Liv and Barba was mounting as they argued back and forth about Cain and this case and all the BS that had come up during the investigation. And all Amanda could do was sit back and watch them. If she didn't know better, she would think it was some kind of crazy foreplay. The way they stared at each other… maybe it was._

"Shut up!"

"Liv, you and Barba have some of the strongest eye game I have ever seen in my life. Seriously. If a man ever looked at me the way that he looks at you…"

"Speaking of Carisi…"

"Nope. Not tonight."

"Please."

"No. Plus, we haven't even gotten to the good part."

 _October 2012_

 _He really was masterful, lobbing back and forth with the smarmy Cain. And then the offer of seeing how that whole belt thing works. Amanda had NEVER seen any attorney go that far ever. Everyone in the courtroom had stopped breathing and she slid her eyes over to her friend. Liv could not take her eyes off the man and she would swear on a stack of bibles that Liv flushed a bit when Barba slowly took his belt off right there in the middle of the trial._

"Admit it."

"No."

"You thought that was the sexiest thing you had ever seen."

"No."

"Liv…"

"No."

"You can have more wine." Olivia looked over at her.

"It may have been slightly attractive."

"Liv."

"Ok. The belt thing may have been a little unorthodox…"

"I swear I'm going to finish the bottle and make you watch."

"Fine! God! Fine. I may or may not have had some inappropriate thoughts about him and that belt for a few days after."

"Liv…"

"You are so annoying. Fine! I still think about it now from time to time. Happy?" Amanda just sat back and smiled as Olivia refilled her glass again. "So are you finally ready to admit it to yourself?"

"Admit what?"

"I want to hit you with that bottle girl."

"Amanda. He's…"

"Blah Blah Blah. He's your best friend. He's your most trusted ally in the DA's office. He's the most amazing lawyer you have ever seen. I know Liv. You've basically had that all on repeat for 5 years. Aren't you tired?"

Amanda was gearing up for a fight but in that moment, staring at her friend, Olivia did something she had never done before. She gave in. She gave over. She watched Olivia lean back against her couch, eyes closed. "I'm so tired" she whispered.

"You would have to be! I can't imagine fighting against whatever it is you are feeling for 5 years. It's insane, Liv. And I promise you, he's exhausted too. I could see it on his face every time I saw him since he came back. You would think someone coming off two weeks off would be rested and reenergized. Not looking like they hadn't slept in weeks. Like they still had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Wouldn't it just be better if you two got it out of your system?"

"NO!" Olivia roared back. Amanda was proud of herself, hitting that button right when it needed to be hit. Now just needed to sit back and wait for Liv to connect the words.

"He's not someone I get out of my system. He's more than that. He's… he's… he's everything! Those two weeks without him felt like an eternity to me. I hated working every case we caught because he wasn't there to have my back. Even working this with Dodds and not him felt wrong. I hated it. And now he isn't returning my texts and I…"

"Then go." Amanda just shrugged at her friend. She looked over at the kids. "They are asleep and Noah is welcome here any time. You know that. Come get him in the morning. Go."

Olivia wanted to fight back at her, but damn if Amanda wasn't good. "That was impressive" Olivia shot back as she got off the couch, grabbing her phone and jacket.

"I know. I'm very good." Olivia whipped around and hugged Amanda. "Just so you know he's not my only best friend."

"Yeah, but I'm sure he will be willing to do things to help you relax that I am not. So go." Amanda shoved her out the door, locking it so Olivia couldn't change her mind.


	2. Chapter 2

He swirled his drink around, just staring at it. He had been on this stool for a couple of hours. He had closed the case. Taken his victory lap. But the whole thing had felt off. The whole week he had felt a step behind. Almost sidelined.

 _"How did you find me?"_

 _"I'm a trained detective. Plus, I could smell the scotch."_

"Barba" he heard as someone took up the seat next to him. He turned and sighed. "I should have left 20 minutes ago" he whispered.

 _"Oh, you're not going to let me get out of here."_ He shook his head. He was hoping getting back to work would make this flood of memories stop, but no such luck.

"Penny for your thoughts, counselor?" Rita smiled at him as she sipped her wine. "I would have thought after taking down Coyle you would have been strutting around Manhattan like you had just conquered it."

"Yeah, well…"

She gave him a look. "Rafael Barba, at a loss for words? Someone get me a pen. I need to write this down." He just shook his head and turned back to his drink. "It just all felt off" he said quietly. If she hadn't been paying attention, she would have missed it.

"Ok, Raf. Now I've moved into concern for you. Which is a weird feeling. So, knock it off and tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"We've known each other a long time. Don't try your bullshit on me."

"Rita, please. Drop it."

"Drop what? I don't even know…" but she stopped and leaned back. Really looking at her old friend. "I don't know this look on you. What is this?" she asked, waving her hand at him. He shook his head.

"Something is in your head. Or… well, shut the front door. Could it be a someone? Someone is in your head?" He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, trying to ignore her. That's how she knew she was on the right track. "Could it be that the bad ass Rafael Barba is finally going to admit that…" He glared at her.

"Admit what?"

"Raf."

"Rita."

"Gonna make me say it. Fine then. Olivia Benson." He shook his head and looked back to his drink, wishing he could drown himself in it right now.

"Look Barba. I will deny all of this tomorrow but you had a good day and you deserve some enjoyment from that and I just had a nice drink with a handsome man who is waiting for me at the door and I'm in a good mood. But from where I sit, watching you and her work together over the last 5 years, you two have something. Something undeniable. Something you don't see every day. You two… are infuriating, to be honest. I mean, I hate you two in court, but in life… it is a waste to see you two just slide by day after day and ignore, ignore, ignore. Maybe you should think about stopping that." And with that, she patted him on the shoulder and was gone.

He was tired. Even after two weeks off, he was tired. He downed the rest of his drink and dropped some cash on the bar, paying his bill and heading out into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda looked at her phone as it buzzed and then looked at the clock. She rolled her eyes and answered it.

"Liv, you should be well into physically undressing Barba right now. Why are you calling me?" She paused. "Was that a car horn?"

"This is dumb" Olivia replied, just staring at the door to his building, standing on the sidewalk like a statue. "I'm coming back to get Noah."

"I won't open the door."

"Amanda…" Amanda had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud as Olivia Benson actually whined. "I can't do this. What the hell am I even supposed to say to him?"

"Why not try the truth?"

"I don't even know what that is" Olivia said, running her hand through her hair.

"Yes, Liv. You do."

"Amanda… it's just… so scary" she said, almost at a whisper.

"No shit, Liv. But is living like this, just ignoring and pretending any better?"

"No" she said, shaking her head. "But Amanda…"

"Olivia Benson, get your ass in that building now."

"And say what? Hey Barba, mind if I come in and take your clothes off?"

"Only if I get to repay the favor" she heard from right behind her. She froze, eyes wide. Amanda started to laugh hysterically on the other end of the line. Perfect.

"You two always did have impeccable timing. Bye Liv" she said, hanging up the phone.

Liv just stared at the piece of plastic in her hand, like it had just betrayed her.

"Liv" she heard quietly. "Liv, can you turn around?"

"I would rather not. Kind of waiting for a hole to open up in the ground here. Should be any minute now." She heard him chuckle. She took a deep breath and slowly turned. And there he stood, hand in his pocket, a small grin on his face, those stupidly amazing green eyes dancing with laughter and… something else.

"Olivia" he said, nodding slightly.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough"

"Of course," she said, looking up at the sky. "I'm going to kill Amanda." She looked back at him. "Can you please stop smiling at me like that?"

"I'm not sure I can right now. Sorry." He looked her up and down, glancing at her lips for a split second longer than seemed appropriate before meeting her eyes again. She was frozen, like a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. For the first time in a very long time, she had no idea what to do. She silently cursed Amanda in her head.

"So, we just gonna stand here on the street or are you coming up?" he asked, nodding his head toward his building. She just nodded and felt herself relax a bit when he placed his hand on her back, guiding her inside.


	4. Chapter 4

This story was inspired by my brain refusing to stop. The title comes from me having "Let My Love Open the Door" stuck in my head.

* * *

He walked home, slowly. Rita spoke the truth, even if he tried to pretend like she didn't exist in that moment. Olivia Benson. She had been his weakness for a lot longer than he would care to admit.

 _"I'm going to be right here. OK. In your corner."_ He couldn't even pinpoint when it had happened.

 _"I was protecting you. If you had testified against your fellow officers, your career at the NYPD would have been over."_ He like to tell himself that it was because she was one of the good ones, one of the amazing one. But it was more than that. Her reputation proceeded her, especially when he told everyone he was transferring to Manhattan. " _Watch out for that Benson. She's hell on wheels"._ But damn, if she wasn't more than that. He had seen lesser people burn out in a fraction of the time she continued to work in that job and fight the good fight.

But then Tucker… it had all gone to shit. And then confiding in Carisi instead of her about the threats against him. He wasn't sure that they would have ever gotten back on track, but here they were, slowly trying to. But there was tension. Maybe all of it had brought it to the forefront of their thinking. He knew it had for him for sure. She drove him…

" _You drive him crazy. Just doing my job"._ So crazy. It had been years since that little run in with his mother and Olivia and Lucia still asked about her at least once a week. He rounded the corner to his building, asking for some kind of sign or moment to give him a push. A push he was terrified of, but knew he desperately needed. Knew they both desperately needed. And then… there it was.

"I'm coming back to get Noah." She was facing away from him. What was she doing here? He slowed down, just taking her in. There was something frantic about her in that moment. Manic. Almost… scared? But of what?

"Amanda… it's just… so scary". He would literally scorch the earth to take that fear out of her mind. He knew he would do whatever it took to make her feel safe. He always had.

"But Amanda…"

He walked up behind her, quietly. His fingers itched to reach out and still her, as she paced back and forth, running her hand through her hair.

"And say what? Hey Barba, mind if I come in and take off your clothes?" Thank God for his quick brain and reaction time. Because the rest of his thought process had shut down hearing that she was thinking about undressing him.

"Only if I get to repay the favor". He watched her freeze. If she had been facing him, she would have seen him basically do the same thing. She pulled the phone away from her ear and he heard a cackling from the other end of the line. He chucked quietly as she held the phone up in front of her, like it had personally offended her or something. He needed to see her face. Desperately.

"Liv. Liv, can you turn around?" He took a few more steps into her so they were just a breath away from touching. It had been a very long time since they had been this close. It had started to feel wrong and it was so hard for him to be that close to her and not touch her, comfort her, be able to wrap his arms around her.

"I would rather not. Just waiting for a hole to open up in the ground here. Should be any minute now". He shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled. Nerves. What he couldn't put his finger on till right now. Nervous energy. He thought it was just him. But she had it to. He wasn't making this up in his head. He had convinced himself this would always be one sided. That he had to find a way to make peace with it and move one. He hoped the break from her and work would give him some clarity. But the only thing that was made clear to him was the depth of their relationship. It had consumed him over those two weeks. She turned to face him, finally and all he could do is look at her. Her beautiful face. Eyes filled with a bit of terror and the unknown.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough" he replied. Enough to know that he needed to get them off the street. He smiled brightly as she cursed Amanda's name to the sky. If Rollins was the catalyst to Olivia standing here in front of him, he would have to find a way to repay her in a large way.

"Can you please stop smiling at me like that?"

"I'm not sure I can right now. Sorry." He glanced at her lips, wondering if this was finally the time that he would get to see if his dreams were right about how they would feel pressed against his.

"So, we just gonna stand here on the street or are you coming up?" He watched her agree and gave over to his need to touch her, resting his hand on her back as they walked out of the night and into whatever was next.


	5. Chapter 5

"Make yourself comfortable" he threw over his shoulder, as he flipped on a couple of lights. She had only been here a handful of times and no further than the entry. She watched as he moved around, hanging up his coat and kicking his shoes off into a room. She walked in slowly, taking off her shoes and hanging her jacket up. The space felt so… him. She's not sure why she's so surprised that is space was so him. The soft leather furniture and bright colors dotting the living space.

 _"I know a guy. Rafael Barba. He's got big, brass... ego…"_ She felt like she needed to get that stitched on a pillow for Barba. Harris had never been more right about anything in his life. She had run into him a few times and he was always surprised when she said they were still working together.

 _"Always figured Barba would have climbed the ladder by now. Whatever is keeping him there must be important."_ She remembered the way he looked at her when he said that. She knew the gossip. _"I know you two are close"._ She wasn't immune to it at all.

She looked at the picture of him and his mother. _"You drive him a little crazy."_ She smiled.

"Something funny?" he asked, handing her a glass of wine over her shoulder. She turned to him as he sat down on the couch, glass of scotch in his hand. She took a sip and stopped, looking at the glass and then looking at him.

"This… this is my favorite."

"I know." He leaned back and nodded at her.

"But you don't drink wine."

"Not voluntarily no."

"Then why…" she trailed off as he just shrugged. "You never know." She felt her heart start to beat wildly against her chest. She took another sip and looked around.

"You looked deep in thought. Anything interesting?" he asked. She walked over and sat down next to him, having to stifle a groan as she sat on the couch.

"Nice isn't it?"

"God, it is more than obvious you don't have toddlers. The destruction Noah could cause on this couch…" He rested his head against his hand, smiling at her. "You want it?" he asked, taking a sip from his glass. She playfully slapped his chest and he grabbed her hand, lightly rubbing his thumb over the back of it. She felt herself flush a little bit at the contact. "What were you saying?" she stuttered out.

He looked at her and smiled shyly, not releasing his slight grip on her hand. "I was just asking about you being lost in thought."

She cleared her throat, leaning over to put her glass on the side table, not pulling too far because in no world did she want him to let go of her hand. He did the same, not letting go of her hand.

"I've been having a flood of memories lately. Just thinking about the day Harris brought us to meet you. He was… descriptive…"

"I can only imagine. Something about my ego, I would imagine."

"Pretty much. Big brass… ego… was how he described it to me and Rollins". Barba laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like him." He met her eyes. The green was especially prominent tonight. Made it hard for her to look anywhere else.

"I've been having flashbacks too. My whole suspension it's like the memories were following me around."

"Like what?" she whispered out.

"Like shaking your hand that day in the courtroom. The first time you stormed my office. I had never had a detective do that before. My mom still asks about you. The late nights in your office or at Forlini's getting a drink. The first time you found me having dinner. Stuff like that. And then I ran into Rita at the bar tonight and… well, she pointed some things out to me I had been pretending I didn't know."

"Rita is smart" Olivia replied.

"Don't ever tell her that. You will never hear the end of it the next time we have to face her. She may just put you on the stand and make you say it so she can have it on the record." Olivia laughed. He dropped her hand and scooted closer to her, resting his arm across the couch behind her. She couldn't help herself. She laid her cheek against his arm, feeling his warmth through his shirt on her face. "I promise" she whispered. He pushed a little closer so their knees were touching. It felt like nothing else existed but them on this couch, in this moment.

"Rita… she said… well, she basically said we are morons."

"Ignore what I said earlier." He smiled and laughed quietly. He rested his hand against her knee, curling his arm around her shoulders, pulling her further in.

"Part of me spent the walk back here trying to forget it but then I decided why. Why would I do that? And then you were standing there and it was like…" She couldn't breathe. He was so close his scent was invading all of her senses. He squeezed her knee and looked down at his hand. "What you said on the phone to Amanda…"

She closed her eyes. "Don't do that. Look at me." She opened her eyes and found him looking at her in a way she had only ever caught a glimpse of in passing. She had always been able to blame it on the late hour or the alcohol. "I can't say the thought has never crossed my mind. I remember exactly how your hand felt in mine that day in the courtroom."

"Amanda got me to admit that it was a turn on the day you took your belt off during the Cain case." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Don't make me regret that."

"Never, Olivia. Just storing that away for a rainy day." She groaned and threw her head back. But she froze when she felt him rain down a light kiss on her throat. She whipped her head back up and found him right there, staring at her, breathing a little heavier than he had been before.

"Rafael, I just…"

 _"You and I are done talking._

"Olivia, I think you and I are done talking right now" he said, pulling her into him, assaulting her lips with his.


	6. Chapter 6

He broke away from her long enough to pull her across his lap, sandwiching her between the arm of the couch and his body. She had to bite her lip to keep from moaning loudly as he ran his hand up her leg and around her back, fingers brushing where her shirt had ridden up slightly.

"Don't silence yourself on my account, Liv" he spoke against her neck as he kissed his way up and down. He hit at spot under her ear and she couldn't help herself. She felt him smile against her skin.

 _"You're smiling Barba. Why does that freak me out?"_

"You're smiling." He pulled back and flashed that wide, beautiful grin at her. She hadn't seen it near enough in recent months and it made her heart beat wildly.

"Is my smile so rare that it needs to commented on?"

She adjusted her arms around him. She shrugged slightly and looked over his shoulder. "Olivia."

She couldn't meet his eyes. "It's just been so long since I have been on the receiving end of one of your actual, honest to God smiles I had almost forgotten what it felt like to get one." She felt him tuck her hair behind her ear and she finally met his eyes again. What she saw there took her breath away. Behind the shining eyes filled with emotion, there was a hint of sadness. Regret. It hurt her heart.

"Liv, I… I'm sorry. I spent so much time beating down these feelings that it became second nature to just… not… especially with you. Especially after… everything." She started to open her mouth and he kissed her quickly and intensely. He pulled back, just a breath. "No. There's no explanation. Looking back gets us nowhere. Looking back just brings up hurt and pain and anger and I'm not wanting that from us anymore."

She kissed his cheek lightly, running her fingers through his hair. "And what do you want from us now, Counselor?" she whispered in his ear.

 _"We're in business."_

 _"Are we?"_

He leaned into her, turning her head slightly. "I was wondering exactly how you planned to undress me, since you mentioned it to Rollins earlier. That is, if you don't need to go?" He felt her shake her head slightly, leaning over just so he could kiss the other side of her neck.

"Noah fell asleep at Amanda's. She told me to come get him tomorrow. So…" He felt her push against his chest and he leaned back. She pushed herself up and grabbed his hand, pulling him into her. In bare feet, she was right at eye level with him. He wrapped her in his arms, running his fingers over her lower back, loving the look that passed over her face when he did that.

"So…" he asked.

"So, that room you kicked your shoes into earlier… bedroom?" Barba just nodded. She grabbed his hand from behind her back and pulled him in the direction of that door.

They got the entrance of the darkened room and he spun her around, backing her into the door jam. "Olivia, this more than just…"

"Getting us out of our system? It better be." He closed his eyes and pulled her in for a hug.

"Olivia Benson. Taking the words right out of my mouth" he sighed.

"Till we are 85" she replied and he was lost. She pushed him back into the room. He grabbed her around the waist and dragged her into him. He looked her up and down as he slowly walked her backwards till she felt the backs of her legs hit the bed. He looked in her eyes and was about to open his mouth when she stilled him, fingers on his lips. He was stock still as she started to slowly unbutton his vest. He didn't even care about the wrinkles and dry cleaning bill of that or the tie as she threw them across the room. She untucked his shirt and placed her hands on his back. The frenzy broke loose in him at the feel of her hands on his skin. He felt her start to pull him backwards, toward the bed. He stopped. "Liv…" he said quietly. "Liv… this…" He could feel himself getting choked up. The thoughts had been there for so long. They almost boiled over that day in his office when he found out about Tucker. He almost lost it then. But he fought it back. Fought it down. Kept his distance. Worked his way back from hurt and anger. He could never walk it back. He knew that the moment they hit that bed he would be done for.

She framed his face with her hands. "Raf…" He closed his eyes. The nickname that she rarely ever used. He felt a tear let loose from his eyes. "Hey. Hey!" She whispered as she kissed it off his face. "Do you not want…"

He pulled her closer, locking gazes with her. "I'm not sure I have wanted anything more in my life than this moment right here. But Liv… I won't pretend. Ever. Hell, half the NYPD thinks we are already together anyway, that I'm the reason you and Tucker ended. And god damn… I just… Liv, I swear I would marry you tomorrow if you told me that's what you wanted. But I won't do this if you are going to try to walk it back when the sun comes up. I won't. This… this isn't wrong. How I feel… there is nothing wrong… I'm not sure I have been more confident about a singular feeling ever."

 _"What I did was wrong. But the truth is I would do it again."_

She rubbed her thumbs softly across his cheeks. "Not everything done in the dark is shameful" she said, smiling shyly. "I'm not sure I will be able to hide this… us… even if I wanted to. Which I don't. Ever. And while I appreciate the offer, I'm not sure tomorrow is a good day for a wedding. Maybe next week." He kissed her soundly as he let her pull him down onto the bed.

Before his brain could process it, he had her underneath him, this gorgeous woman on his bed. He had always promised himself that if he ever got this chance, he would map out her entire body with his lips. Every time she tried to drag him up to her, he muttered something in Spanish (which he quickly discovered was her kryptonite) and continued his plan. Olivia was lost to him. She should have known he would be methodical and resourceful with a few tricks up his sleeve. Every nerve in her body was on fire but the time he slowly worked his way back up to her lips. She took advantage and flipped him over, hovering above him, catching him off guard. The way she moved against him… well, he would admit to her later that he may have had two or three dreams about that exact situation. She was determined, creative, passionate. All the things he had found most attractive about her to begin with.

 _"Did you ever get a report back on the finger prints? It's inconclusive. You're very good."_

But seeing her like this, relaxed and just letting go, as she threw her head back, bracing herself over him. He was a goner. He could roll it back to that first handshake. The first joke. A dark part of his brain and his soul knew they would always end up here. The path to this point may have been dark and rocky and full of bullshit and anger, but seeing her here now, with him, head thrown back, his name rolling off her lips, he couldn't contain himself any longer. He pushed himself up, crushing her to his chest, growling out her name as they both fell over the edge together.

They both were breathing heavily, Olivia draped over him as he ran his fingers up and down her back. Olivia dropped light kisses on his chest. "So, I think I'm going to go and…" He wrapped his arms around her tightly. "I swear to God, if you say you are leaving I'm going to…" She silenced him with her lips. "Take a shower and wanted to see if you would like to join me". After a very intense and steamy shower, they emerged together, sated and exhausted. Her wrapped in one of his towels was a sight he would never grow tired of.

"Care if I dig something out of your closet to sleep in?" He just nodded. She could have it all. Well… "Just not the really good shirts, Liv." But all thought left his head as she walked out in his oldest and most well-worn Harvard t-shirt. "Forget what I said just a minute ago. I'm a moron. You can wear anything of mine any time you want. I may have to almost insist." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he walked her slowly back to the bed.

"I'm keeping this shirt" she said as he crawled in next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Olivia Benson, I swear you can have my whole damn apartment, as long as you let me be here for you." She laughed. "Deal." And soon they were both asleep, resting more easily and comfortably than either one had in a very long time.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reading. All done now. On to the next idea.

For me, this chapter was about having a ton of fun so hence Lucia Barba, playing up the snob that is Rafael Barba, what I have decided is an awesome love/hate friendship between Barba and Rita Calhoun and Rita/Fin. And a totally awesome game of "who called it first".

* * *

 _The next morning_

"I really do have to go" she said, a lot breathier than she had planned. She had been trying to get out of his apartment for the last hour so and he was being more than persuasive about why she should stay.

 _"Come on Barba. You can be very persuasive when you wanna be."_

"Yeah yeah yeah" he mumbled against her neck, working his way back up to her lips. She had at least managed to finally get them out of bed and to the front door before he turned her around and pinned her to it. It didn't help that she was fully dressed and he was just in a very light t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

"Come over tonight. But I really do need to go get Noah."

"Olivia Benson, you couldn't keep me away. I'm going to try to attempt to do some work for a few hours and then I'll be over." She smiled at him brightly as he pulled her away from the door, turning her slowly as he opened it. She knew he was smooth, but damn. She pulled herself to him, kissing him like the rest of the world didn't exist.

"Good morning." They both froze. They both pulled back and looked at each other. "Shit" he said quietly under his breath.

"Rafael Barba, language." He let out a sigh and looked over her shoulder at his mother as Olivia buried her head in his shoulder.

"Ms. Benson." Olivia let out the breath she had been holding and turned to face Lucia Barba. "Please, Olivia."

"I should say so. And it appears you should call me Lucia." Olivia heard him groan and felt him drop his head to her back.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" he asked from behind her.

She pointed to her bag. "I'm always here at this time on Saturday mornings, dropping you off some leftovers and groceries. But you are always gone at this time. I would ask what you are doing here but…" Olivia laughed at the shit eating grin on her face as she waved at the two of them.

"So…" Lucia started, clasping her hands together. "OLIVIA HAS TO GO" Barba shouted, causing Olivia to laugh. She nodded. "I do, Lucia. I have to go pick up my son." Lucia's eyes widened at the mention of Noah.

Olivia turned back to him and kissed him quickly. "Tonight?" she asked.

"Wild dogs couldn't keep me away." She squeezed him tightly and left. He watched her all the way to the elevator and finally he turned to look at his mother. She was just leaning against the door, smiling.

"Can you not?" he groaned, walking past her. She shut the door and shrugged.

"What? I was just going to ask if that was your Harvard shirt she was wearing home or…"

"Mom" he said.

She held up her hands. "Ok, Ok. Stop growling at me. I'm going to put this stuff away now." He nodded and headed toward his bedroom to get dressed for the day. Before he shut his door, he heard her yell "Just for the record, I called this" from the kitchen. He sighed and nodded, knowing this was just her getting started.

* * *

 _Monday morning_

Rollins walked in almost on time. Between Jesse not cooperating this morning and the sitter running late, Amanda didn't even have time to grab coffee or food. Break room would have to do. Till she saw him sitting there, in her chair, two large cups of coffee and a bag. She looked him over for a moment, seeing his leg bouncing up and down as he played with his phone.

She walked up behind him, very curious. "Barba?"

He got up quickly and motioned to her seat. She sat down, never taking her eyes off of him. "Can I help you with something?"

He sat in her visitor chair, fiddling with his phone. "Barba."

"Yeah" he replied, bouncing his leg.

"How many coffees are you in this morning?"

 _"You ever think about going off caffeine? That would be a no."_

"I may have had 2 espresso shots before I got my regular order. Those are for you" he said, pointing at the cup and bag. She looked in and found a donut and croissant.

"Wasn't sure what you liked but that's the best place in the city so…" She nodded.

"Thanks" and she leaned back, sipping her coffee and taking a bite of the food he brought her. She felt like this was a thank you of sorts. But being as he rarely thanked them for anything, she wasn't sure.

"So, did you need me for something or…"

"Thanks" he said quietly. He never really looked at her but kind of past her. "I know you gave Liv the push on Friday night so… just… I really… just thanks. This weekend was…"

"Nothing I ever need to know about" Amanda warned. "Seriously. Never. I love Liv and she needed that push and you aren't a bad guy so…" He rolled his eyes at her. "Barba, just know it took a lot for her to come to you Friday night. Don't screw this up."

"I don't plan to" he said, nodding at her.

"Good. Then no other thanks needed." He pushed himself out of the chair and she turned to boot up her computer. She felt him hovering. "Yes?"

"So, I hear kids like Paw Patrol?" She stopped, looking up at nothing really. Those words, coming out of the mouth of ADA Rafael Barba… she rolled her head up to him.

"Yeah. Some do." He just nodded. "But if you are asking about a certain 4-year-old in particular, he's more into Mickey and the Roadster Racers these days." Barba looked like she just started speaking a foreign language. "I'll email you some links. Target always has a good selection."

"I'm sorry, Target? I'm not sure that Target is…"

"Go away. I'm emailing you some stuff now." He sighed and patted her on the shoulder. "Thanks, Rollins. Tell Liv I'm in the office if she needs anything."

"Nope, definitely NOT going to tell her that because I do NOT want to hear the response." He laughed and walked away. Amanda noticed a little more swagger in his walk than normal. "Great" she said to herself. "Like he needs a bigger ego." She watched him get on the elevator and turned back to her computer. "Totally called it" she said to herself.

* * *

 _The following week_

"Calhoun" she heard from behind her. She turned to see him walking toward her, more swagger than usual. "Great" she muttered to herself as she turned to face him.

"And how are you this fine day?" he asked as she rolled her eyes at him. "Barba what is going on with you? You had just a little bit extra smarm to you today. It's not very attractive."

"Well, then, I guess it's a good thing I don't care about how attractive you find me."

"Shut up. What has gotten into you?"

"Come on Rita. It's a good day. Putting away the bad guys, defeating ridiculous defense attorneys…"

"You realize I was just in there with you right?"

"I know. Just enjoying the day. That's all."

"Nah. There's something else." With that, she watched a large, almost unheard of smile, break out on his face as he focused over her shoulder. She turned to see Olivia Benson standing at the end of the hallway, glancing between them and her phone. Rita turned back to him, crossing her arms.

"What?" he asked.

"Just stop. I was off my game today or I would have guessed the moment I laid eyes on you. That's what I get for skipping lunch."

"Have a beautiful evening, Rita" he yelled over his shoulder, taking off down the hallway where Olivia was trying to be less than obvious that she was waiting for him. They tried to keep a professional distance while waiting for the elevator and they both turned back toward her as they got on.

"Just for the record, I called this!" she yelled at them as the elevator doors closed.

"Called what?" Fin whispered behind her.

"Olivia and Barba."

"Wait, did that finally happen?"

"Yes, it did and you are going to help me remind everyone that I called it first" she said. He just nodded and slung his arm over her shoulder, walking them toward the exit.

* * *

 _6 months later_

The truth is the day was nothing flashy. If it weren't for the fact that the entire SVU team had taken the day off, it wouldn't have even been a blip on the radar. Yet here they all stood, in a beautiful, intimate venue watching Olivia Benson and Rafael Barba exchange vows. Some of the anti-NYPD voices tried to raise a fuss, cause an issue, make it a problem but everyone from the Mayor to Chief Dodds to District Attorney not only ignored all the voices, but showed their support. After an initial PR thing, it had all died down and now no one could say that what had just happened was anything but what was meant to be.

Barba walked up to Fin and Carisi as they leaned on one end of the bar, looking down at the other end where Amanda, Rita and Lucia seemed to be in a very heated discussion.

"What's going on down there?" he asked, sipping his glass of scotch, fiddling with his brand new wedding band, glancing over at Olivia and Noah talking to the judge. She was beautiful, glowing and this family was all his now.

"Well" Carisi started. "It would seem that the three of them started talking last night and are now in the midst of 'who called it first'? It's become a thing."

"What?"

Fin turned toward Barba. "They are all fighting about who called you and Liv first. They all say they have proof that they were the first ones to see it." Barba downed his scotch and patted the men on the back.

"No. They don't. I got this."

"How?" Carisi asked.

"I knew this was going to happen the moment I shook her hand the first day we met. Even after the horrible joke, she still agreed to marry me. I win".


End file.
